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Edgar Dunn & Company
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Media Contact

European Offices
Volker Schloenvoigt
+44-207-283-1114 - Main

Americas Offices
David Whitelaw
+1-415-977-1870 - Main

Asia Pacific Offices
Robert White
Phone: +1 415 977 1870
(Temporary U.S. Number)

General Information

For general questions or to request information about the firm, you may send an e-mail to: contact@edgardunn.com

Recruiting

For recruiting questions or to submit a resume, please send an e-mail to: recruiting@edgardunn.com

Native Languages

Click to correspond with us in Danish Click to correspond with us in French Click to correspond with us in German Click to correspond with us in Spanish Click to correspond with us in Russian

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from the chocolate lab. "All the vets are prescribing it. It works for everything."

He then turns to the yellow lab and asks, "Why are you here?"

The yellow lab says, " I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the fuck of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch." 

"So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired.

"Looks like Prozac for me too," the dejected yellow lab said. The yellow lab then turns to the black lab and asks what he's at the vet's office for.

"I'm a humper," the black lab says. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just gotten out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself, I hopped on her back and started humping away."

The yellow and chocolate labs exchange a sad glance and say, "So, Prozac for you too, huh?"

The black lab says, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped.

Dog Day Afternoon

A guy walks into a bar and orders 6 shooters. The bartender says, "Looks like you are having a bad day."

The guy says, "Am I ever! To start, I woke up late for work. On my way to work I got in an accident. When I got to work I was four hours late, so the boss fired me. Then to top everything off I came home to my wife screwing my best friend." 

The bartender says, "What did you say to your wife?"

The guy says, "I told her to get out, and I never want to see her again."

The bartender says, "What did you say to your best friend?''

The guy says, ''I said BAD DOG!''

Biggest Mistake

God gave men a brain and a penis but only enough blood to use one at a time.

She'd Do Anything

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam."

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

"I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do... *anything*!!!"

He returns her gaze. "Anything???"

"Yes...Anything!!!"

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"

Top NFL Officials' Complaints

After shooting the blank gun to end the half, the Dallas Cowboy players start shooting back with live ammunition.

Players get "the wave". . . refs get "the finger".

Anyone who makes a call against the Detroit Lions risks pissing off their last remaining fan.

With Reggie White retired, the penalty for "Illegal use of a racial slur" is meaningless.

Just when we thought it was safe to be an NFL Ref, we have to go back to frickin' CLEVELAND!!!

Thanks to instant replay, picking nose during a game is twice as risky.

Everyone else gets to wear their Autumn colors, but for me it's black and white week after week after week!

Don King only bribes boxing judges.

Official rulebooks not made in Braille.

I'm the one that everybody wants to kill, so where's MY helmet and pads?!

Too Much To Drink

During a wild party at a country house, Roxanne had too much to drink and strolled outside for some air. Getting to a grassy field, she laid down to watch the stars. Roxanne was almost asleep when a cow, searching for clover, carefully stepped over her. Groggily, she raised her head and said, 'One at a time boys, one at a time.'

The Blonde and the Ventriloquist

A world-renowned ventriloquist is doing a huge show in Madison Square Garden for thousands of people. In his act, he throws in a few blonde jokes here and there. At the end of the show, he is backstage when a blonde woman approaches him, visibly shaken.

"I just want to tell you how disgusted and offended I was by your show tonight. The way you made fun of blondes was unnecessary and uncalled for!"

The ventriloquist was completely taken aback. He had no idea that his show would ever offend anyone!

"Ma'am, I am so sorry. If I had any idea that I would offend audience members, I would never have done the act, and I am very sorry." He said sincerely.

"No, no," said the blonde. "I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to that bastard sitting in your lap."

Jack & Jill

Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat. He says "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, here - try these on." So, she did and said, "these are too big, I can't wear them".

 So I replied, "...exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

 "Hmmm," says Jack. He thinks that might be a good thing to try. So on, his honeymoon Jack takes off his pants and says to Jill, "Here try these on."

 So she does and says, "these are too large, they don't  fit me.." So Jack says, "...exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."

 Then Jill takes off her pants and hands them to Jack and says, "here you try on mine." So he does and says, "They're too small. I can't get into your pants." So Jill says,"...exactly. And if you don't change your attitude, you never will."

Elevator

A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The small guy faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him. When the little guy finally comes around, the big guy asks him, "What's wrong with you?"

In a very weak voice the little guy says, "Excuse me, but what EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big dude said, "I saw the curious look on your face and figured I'd Just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn around." 

Sex For Seniors

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she ask how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her and mother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.  "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even.
Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

Medical Advice

A man went to his doctor, seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy. "When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it completely up your butt. Then remove it, rewrap it, and place it back with all the others, in such a fashion as you can't tell which one it is. The aversion is obvious, you won't dare smoke any of them, not knowing which is the treated cigar."

"Thanks doc, I'll try it." And he did. But three weeks later he came back and saw the doctor again.

"What? My recommendation didn't work? It was supposed to be effective even in the most addictive of cases, such as yours is!" answered the doctor.

"Well, it kind of worked, doc. At least I was able to transfer my addiction," replied the patient.

"What is that supposed to mean?" demanded the doctor.

"Well, I don't smoke cigars anymore, but now I can't go to sleep at night unless I have a cigar shoved up my ass."

Medical Opinions

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.

One of the students said to his friend: "I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome - those people walk just like that,"

The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome, he walks just like we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached the old man and one of the students said to him:

"We're medical students and couldn't ignore the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said: "I'll tell you but first you'll tell me what you think."

Then one of the students said: "I think it's Petry Syndrome."

And the old man said: "you thought, but you're wrong."

Then the other student said: "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

And the old man said: "you thought, but you're wrong."

So they asked him: "so what do you have?"

And the old man said: "I thought I needed to fart. I thought, but I was wrong."

Newlyweds

A hillbilly and his new bride were on their honeymoon. The husband jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready. The wife comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says "Honey, I have something to tell you. I'm a virgin."

The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the top of his lungs. He heads straight to his fathers house. When he gets there, his father says, "Son, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on your honeymoon."

The son says, "Dad, my new wife told me a big secret of hers. She's a virgin." 

"Damn son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she wasn't good enough for her family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours!"

Therapy

A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his wife. The fantasy of having a young woman in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to satisfy his young bride.
His wife, as understanding as she was exciting, told him that all was well even if he was quick to get out of the saddle.

Determined to satisfy this sweet young thing, the man visited the doctor to get some advice.

"Doctor, I can't seem to hold back for very long when I make love to my young wife and I can't satisfy her. What can I do?"

The doctor smiled, patted him on the shoulder, and said in a professional manner, "Try a bit of self- stimulation before having intercourse with your wife and you'll find that you'll last longer and ultimately satisfy her."

"Okay, Doctor. If you think that will help."

Later that afternoon, his young bride called him at work to let him know that she would be attacking him at the front door when he arrived home.

"Be prepared, my darling. I'm going to ravish you," She cooed over the phone.

Undaunted, the man decided to follow the doctor's advice. But where? In the office? The Xerox room? What if someone walked in on him?

He got in his truck and began the journey home. Soon he decided he would find a spot on the road to pull over, climb underneath the truck and pretend to be inspecting the rear axle, and do the deed there.

A moment later, he pulled over, crawled beneath the truck, closed his eyes tightly, fantasized about his young wife, and began his "therapy."

A few minutes later, just as he was about to complete his therapy session, he felt someone tugging on his pants leg. Keeping his eyes tightly shut to avoid ruining the fantasy he was enjoying, he said, "Yes?"

"Sir, I'm with the Police Department. Could you tell me what you are doing, please?" Said the officer.

"Yes, officer, I'm inspecting my truck's rear axle," He replied confidently.

"Well, why don't you check the brakes while you're down there. Your truck rolled down the hill a few minutes ago."

Little Johnny

A third grade teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly said. "My family went to the New York City Zoo and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate".

Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to the Statue of Liberty and I was "fascinated". The teacher said, "well, that was good, Sally, but I want the word 'fascinate.'"

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Little Johnny was noted for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate,' so she called on him. Little Johnny said, " My sister has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so fucking big, she can only fasten eight."

Little Johnny on Getting Older

Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fucking business!!"

 

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